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What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Updated: Aug 21, 2022

What 2021 taught me about 'getting out of my own way'.

At the end of 2020 / start of 2021 I had started writing a blog. I thought it might help Social Care managers who were understandably struggling. I was in the sector myself (still am) so really felt and understood the challenges we all faced. (And still do)

The blogs were very well received which inspired me and gave me the idea of writing a book.

Full of self doubt and trepidation I 'got out of my own way' and just started writing. A book was born.

Stuck for a title and I 'got out of my own way' and let the title come to me. The Overwhelmed Manager was created.

I had the idea if setting up a FB group. I had no idea if it would work or people would come and again I 'got out if my own way' and just did it. ( It did work and they did come)

I wanted to become self employed as a consultant / coach but this terrified me with SO MANY negative connotations. What if it didn't work, would there be enough demand, how does being self employed work, etc etc and a whole load more etc's.

But guess what, I 'got out of my own way' and decided to see what happens with an intention and a desire.

I was given notice of redundancy. Normally this would terrify me. I have always been an employee with a regular income. But I remained calm, positive even.

I knew that the less I interfered with what was happening in my life, the better it would be.

Weeks went by and my final employed days edged closer. My coach told me she was amazed at how calm I was. I just kept repeating 'something will happen, everything will be ok. I 'got out of my own way' and guess what, it did, and it was.

I have made many mistakes during 2021. I could have berated and belittled myself for these 'mistakes', but chose not to. Instead of getting all up in my head about them I just accepted and moved on.

Getting out of my own way' has been the single most important thing in my life these last 12 or so months. But what does it actually mean?

It means allowing, letting things happen, trusting in something greater, (whatever that means to you), but most of all it means not making something out of nothing, mountains out of molehills, going with the flow with an acceptance and open mind. Letting things come to you.

It also means taking action. In the book I talk about waiting for courage before doing anything. Taking action when you are not feeling courageous, moving ahead when the future looks uncertain and the outcome is unknown.

What this achieved for me was far greater than I could have achieved alone.

A well know coach once said 'follow the feeling not the goal'.

Without a set goal of what I wanted, but a desire for feeling something different, I achieved far more, and ended the year far happier, than I could have imagined.

So I ask you this?

What could happen if you 'got out of your own way'?

The path may look rocky, but as long as it is going in the general direction you want to go, perhaps it is the right path.

Martyn Dawes is a Coach, Social Care Consultant, and Author of The Overwhelmed Manager: What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

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